Why Marriage Doesn’t Work (an excerpt from my book)

I was asked to posts a few excerpts from my book entitled Why Marriage Doesn’t Work  it should be available this summer. Here is part of one chapter if there is enough interest I’ll share a few more excerpts.

Don’t Trust Your Heart


(Jeremiah 17:7) Blessed is the man who trusts in Jehovah, and Jehovah is his trust.
(Jeremiah 17:8) For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters; it sends out its roots by the river, and it shall not fear when the heat comes, but its foliage shall be green; and he is not worried in the year of drought, nor will it cease from yielding fruit.
(Jeremiah 17:9) The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?
(Jeremiah 17:10) I Jehovah search the heart, I try the reins, even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.


There are times in life where our feelings and emotions get the best of us and we wind up making decisions that cause us serious pain. We make many decisions in life, things such as buying a house or car, to making a major business decision, to choosing a lifelong mate. Life is full of decisions and often when our emotions or feelings play a major part of those decisions the results can be disastrous. Proverbs 28:26 tells us “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool; but whoever walks wisely, he shall be delivered”. Then in our base scripture text we find these words
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?

Following our heart or our feelings and emotions can yield devastating results when it comes to our romantic relationships. Hosea 4:11 warns that “Fornication and wine and new wine take away the heart”. The Internet is full of stories of infidelity from Tiger Woods to Madonna, to former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer. At the same time premarital and post marital sex between consenting adults in our society has become acceptable. This verse warns us that when we have sex outside of marriage we are in jeopardy of losing the very moral essence of who we are.


Once you become married to someone that you are not married to which is what happens when we have sex outside of marriage. We can no longer trust our feelings, emotions, or decisions when it comes to that person. In some cases actually marrying the person only makes matters worse because they are not the person that God intended you to unite with.

(Proverbs 3:5) Trust in Jehovah with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding.
(Proverbs 3:6) In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Jeremiah 17:7) Blessed is the man who trusts in Jehovah, and Jehovah is his trust. Don’t trust your feelings, emotions, and most importantly your heart. If you have a major decision to make, don’t trust you. Spend time in God’s word, seek wise Godly counsel and pray. Life is too short to constantly go from one bad situation to another. God wants the best for you and when we seek his guidance things come out much better than expected

I wrote the above as a devotional that I posted on Facebook. It is however very fitting for this book. I truly believe that many marriages don’t work because two people come together that really have no reason being together.  As stated feelings and emotions can get you in serious trouble, making decisions off of how you feel about someone can cause you much pain.  Once we recognize what marriage really is, it is so important that we unite with the right person. Finding the right person can be tough and at times may appear to be impossible and when looking through our natural eyes it often is.


If there is a desire in your heart to be married then I believe there are steps that we can take to make sure that we are united and joined together with the right person. A friend of mine told me a story, in his first marriage he was married to this beautiful woman. He was not where he should have been with the lord and once he truly committed to God his first marriage fell apart. He decides to marry again this time he looks for someone who is into God and is not so concerned about the looks. He marries a lady who is not very attractive but appears to be into the lord. Once they get married he finds out it was all a front.


This marriage lasted for around 18 years and he comments on how he lived all that time with someone he was really not attracted to.  The moral here is even in church someone can appear to be one person and really they are someone altogether different. So it is so important for us to be cautious as we seek out the person that we are to unite with. I believe that there are things that we can do, steps we can take to boost our percentages in finding the right person. One of the most important things we can do is to remember not to trust our heart, or our feelings and emotions.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s